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She sang a solo of lust on the stage in my mind, guided by the strokes of my fingers and the music of my mouth. I imagined the feel of her skin, soft and smooth, and the sharp taste of her juice.After a month I had become obsessed with her. I decided to either fulfill the demands of my imagination, or find some other target for my private lusts. In the back of a theater showing of "The Hunger", my inhibitions lowered by the smoke she and I had shared, I confessed my secret. I leaned in close, and whispered, "I want you."She turned and looked at me, surprised at my boldness. She took my hand and pulled me from the theater, to the privacy of the fire escape. She asked if I was playing a game. She asked if I was serious. I looked into her eyes and saw that my desires were not unreciprocated.I spoke with the sincerity of unalloyed desire. "I want you. I want your body. I want to touch you."We ran to the car. I drove to a quiet side road. We shared a moment, in the moonlight, looking. Situations that she had explained to me and so on. I also believe, that maybe, she was scared. That she didn’t want to admit to me that she lied, and that she would get so upset when I accused her of being Jenova because she didn’t want to be proven wrong. Zeldah agreed to meet me, sometime this summer. I asked her about it and she said she would. I am afraid that she will stand me up again and/or disappear FOREVER after that. But I really need to confront her. I deeply believe that she is Jenova, I need to meet her and face her. I want to look into her eyes and say, ‘ Zeldah, I need you to be 100% honest with me. Look into my eyes and tell me that you are NOT Jenova.” I want to say things like that to her and explain exactly how I feel inside to her. I believe that the truth will come out if I do that and that she will be able to admit everything. I also believe that she still has feelings for me and maybe she is still in love with me. I do not know. I just have to find out!.
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